Great Wagon Race of 2010: May 2012

I know everyone’s been anxiously awaiting a report on the Portland trip… I was, too! So, of course, as soon as Libby got home, I asked her how the trip was. Here’s what she said.

Libby's Version:

“Well, we went to see Great Grandpa Gene, which was good. Noah and Great Grandpa got along well together, but they both seemed a little crabby to everyone else. I don’t know what got into them. It was like they ate something sour or something.

“Then when our visit was over, Noah couldn’t wait to leave. We were sitting around talking, and next thing we knew, we looked up, and Noah was gone! We looked for him everywhere. We checked the bathroom, the bedroom, the hall, the garden… we couldn’t find him! But just then, Uncle Jim noticed his car keys were missing. Noah really did wanna get out of there in a hurry!

“When we got back to the house, Grandma read Noah a bedtime story, but it was kinda boring. Neither of them really had a lot of fun. Although, I guess the whole point of a bedtime story is to bore someone to the point of sleep…

“Noah had been really excited about puddles. We even had that video on the blog showing how he was preparing for Portland’s rainy weather, so we got him some great rain boots! Only, it never rained… But we put Noah in the boots anyway. He threw his hands in the air (literally) in frustration about the lack of rain. Truly one of the biggest disappointments of the trip.

“Then we went to the Chinese gardens. We dressed Noah up in a traditional Chinese outfit. Oh yeah. He was thrilled with that…

“We even sat by the water, since I thought that would cheer him up… nothing doing, though. Wouldn’t even crack a smile.

“Again, Noah took matters into his own hands and led Grandma for the door. Only, he got a little confused and didn’t make quite the exit he was hoping for.

“He must’ve made a wrong turn, because before he realized it, he was stuck back in his stroller, waiting for the adults to ‘do their thing.’

“Then we forced him to pose for a picture with us. The only redeeming part of that whole experience was being surrounded by the ladies, but I think even that didn’t make up for it.

“Then we took him to the zoo. We took him to see a bird that is capable of eating large rodents or small children. In fact, we got a great up-close view of that bird, since he wasn’t in a cage or anything.

“And then we found the mountain goats. When we told Noah that goats eat pretty much anything and everything, he got a little squirmy.

“Noah really likes trains. He can say ‘choo choo’ like a pro. So a train ride would make him finally have fun in Portland, right? Wrong.

“And then, guess what? Stuck back in the stroller. Again. Like always. How boring. Hard to even stay awake under such circumstances.

“And to make matters worse, we made him pose for pictures again. There was a little elephant statue, and he’s a little person, so we said, ‘Let’s see if the little person wants to ride the little elephant!’ (He didn’t.)

“Polar bear?

“Boring.

“Sand box?

“Boring.

“Dump trucks?

“Booooorrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnggggg! Infuriatingly boring.

“So, we went home. Grandpa tried to read him a bedtime story, and Noah was having none of that. He still remembers when Grandpa tried to force-feed him Key Lime pie in Florida, so he immediately tried to escape.

“Noah, being the thoughtful guy he is, finally realized that maybe the story time was for Grandma and Grandpa’s benefit, so he settled down and read the story to them. Not his idea of a great time, but doing charitable works every now and then is good for you, right?

“The rest of the week, we went out exploring, thinking Noah might find a few adventures. Let’s put it politely and just say he wasn’t impressed. Every moment was a struggle to stay awake.

“We had the idea it might be exciting to let a strange guy sit next to him on the streetcar. Maybe it would’ve been a good idea with some strange guys, but this one made Noah a little uneasy… guess it was just one of those vibes. He seemed like nice enough of a guy, though, right?

“And then grocery shopping… who wouldn’t like grocery shopping if you got to sit in a shopping cart that looks like a race car??? (Answer: Noah)

“Finally, Grandpa read Noah a book about the four seasons. Noah wasn’t buying it, though. He knows perfectly well from his time in Michigan that there are only two: bitterly cold, and hot and muggy. You can’t fool this kid with anything.”

That seemed odd. I mean, we thought Noah would have a great time, but it sure didn’t sound like it. So, I went straight to the source. I sat down with Noah and asked for the scoop. Here’s what REALLY happened, as he told me:

Noah's Version:

“When I got to Grandma and Grandpa’s house, Miss Sandy was there with this cute girl my age, Grace. We made friends really fast. I liked trying to hug her. Sometimes I got really excited and knocked her down. I hope she forgives me.

“Then it was time for a drive. I was kicking back, maxxing, relaxing, on my way to see Great Grandpa Gene!

“The food was incredible. Great service. I was a happy boy!

“And of course, hanging out with the family was awesome. I like Great Grandpa Gene. He and I are buddies.

“But I think Uncle Jim wanted to be my friend, too. He pulled me aside and slipped me keys to his Porsche. That was wicked awesome!

“If only I could reach the pedals!!!

“After such a great day, I didn’t think it could get much better, but Grandma and I cuddled for a little while and read bedtime stories. Perfect end to a perfect day, right?

“We went to these really cool Chinese Gardens the next day. I even got to wear Chinese clothes, and Mom and Grandma got me chopsticks! They have a cow at the top. Cows say, ‘mmmmMMMMMMM.’

“I got to have my picture taken a lot... with Grandma:

“And Mama:

“And a lot of girls!

“I had so much fun that day, I really needed a bath. Mama and I always have fun in the bath. Maybe I should’ve had the bath before hanging out with the girls…

“And what day in Portland would be complete without story time, right?

“The zoo in Portland is as much fun as the zoo by our house! Who would’ve guessed? We got to see cool animals, and run around, and even ride some of the animals!

“Mama took me to meet the Alverts. Miss Cory and her kids are great. I liked meeting them. I think they liked me, too. They said that we could visit again, but I’d have to pack my snowsuit… I don’t know why, though. They said they’re going to live in Alaska, but that’s probably pretty close to Portland, right? It doesn’t really snow in Portland that much. Maybe I’ll understand when we visit them again!

“You know, when Mama and Dada take me shopping, I get kinda bored. But not with Grandma! She took me around in this awesome race car. Almost as cool as Uncle Jim’s Porsche!